i will stay independent
"But fuck, sometimes I just get sick of being lonely.
I get sick of having to rely on myself and my imagination for any kind
of deeper mental or emotional stimulation. It’s getting to a point now where,
I’ve had way too much time to think. My heart is forming cobwebs because the people I met,
the experiences I’ve had so far, just aren’t cutting it.
I think my imagination has had far too much time to become so specific
in designing what my heart wants, I’m scared reality is just never going to compare.
How can it? I never really gave it a chance.
I’m torn between wanting only the best for myself and impatience.
I can't be just your friend anymore.
even though a part of me dislikes the thought of our lips meeting,
our bodies connecting, our friendship transforming,
my biggest security being completely tossed around -
there is no denying. my knees are not weak,
my pulse is steady and i will stay independent,
but i ask you to keep me as yours, if i can have you in return."
